On Monday, October 28, 2024 Schuyler Bailar (he/him/his) spoke at a special assembly. Schuyler is the first openly transgender athlete to compete in any sport on a NCAA Division 1 men’s team and is a speaker and advocate for trans inclusion and rights, mental health, and intersectional social justice.

During the assembly, Schuyler spoke about his experience as a transgender man and competitive athlete which he explores in his memoir He/She/They: How We Talk about Gender and Why it Matters. He also helped educate the George School community about representation and terms related to gender and identity inclusion to support respectful language and dialogue.

For Schuyler, the water is where he was always meant to be. Hours, months, and years dedicated to the sport he loved earned him countless accolades, but he knew there was something beneath the surface he needed to confront. Schuyler was assigned female at birth, but identifies as a man, and spent a portion of his life torn between the struggle of the expectations of others, the desire to be accepted, and embracing his authentic self.

“I am transgender,” he said proudly on stage. The resonance of this moment leaves an impact when learning about the moments that it took to get Schuyler to this point. Receiving top grades, setting national records, and getting recruited to swim at Harvard University were great achievements; yet, Schuyler admits, his younger self was miserable, lost, and disconnected throughout his adolescence and as a young adult. “I had a list of priorities, but I wasn’t balanced,” he admitted.

The misalignment of who Schuyler was with what others expected him to be took a toll on his mental health. It was further strained when he broke his back in high school and was left to slow down and confront who he was as a person without swimming.

“Breaking my back broke me,” he shared before addressing the depression, bullying, and eating disorder that followed. While he sought therapy, he needed more help and ended up in a treatment facility for 131 days after high school, which he credits with saving his life and giving him the tools and resources needed to recover, transition, set boundaries, and become his authentic self.

“Realization brought relief,” said Schuyler. This relief, however, was still shrouded with questions. What would Schuyler’s transition mean for his swimming career?

He was fortunate that his college coach was supportive of his gap year for his mental health and wellness. “I spent all this time trying to be honest with myself,” Schuyler shared, and “falling more in alignment with myself.”

He initially swam at Harvard for the first year on the women’s team and took the time to get to know the men’s team before swimming for them for the rest of his college career. He described in detail the first time he walked out for a men’s swim meet — the first in line alphabetically with nobody beside him — as the George School community listened intently. He described the shift in his grounding ritual, and the internal dialogue with himself about the sameness of the water in front of him and the familiar race that awaited him. “While everything is the same, it’s also different” said Schuyler.

 We can each be exactly who we are and do the things we love.

This sentiment was reaffirmed by the story of Schuyler’s last swim meet he shared in which his team cheered for him — not for a transgender athlete, but for Schuyler.

That thread of joy, the seed of hope that is always there waiting, is what Schuyler reassured the community is there waiting for each of us to nurture as we embrace who we are and our own individual identities.

In He/She/They, Schuyler writes “connection is the essence of our humanity” and that message resonated throughout his inspirational talk to the George School community. His honesty and vulnerability facilitated a safe and inclusive space where any and all different types of questions ranging from his experience as a transgender man, his favorite swim events, and how to be a better ally, were welcomed during the second half of the assembly.

Schuyler answered the community’s questions thoughtfully with empathy that comes from experience and a genuine care for not only trans individuals, but anyone who is on their own personal journey to understand their identity and live their life to its fullest as their happiest self.

When asked if there were final words he wanted to share with the George School community, Schuyler emphasized that “we can all benefit from gender liberation.”

“Lead with unconditional love,” he shared. “This love is a privilege in this world, but it should be ubiquitous.”